Christmas Classic updated as plugged in Santa makes the circuit
December 25, 2013
Santa Paula News
By Peggy Kelly
Santa Paula Times
(Based on “Twas the Night Before Christmas” by Clement C. Moore—but don’t tell him we said so.)
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Internet
Not an online user was stirring, not even to place a bet;
The iPads were hung by the doors with care
In hopes that Santa would soon activate them there;
Santa Paula children were nestled snug in their beds,
While visions of Candy Crush danced in their heads;
And Bill Gates in his kerchief and Jobs’ ghost in his cap,
Had just settled their brains for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the veranda there arose such a clatter,
The children checked their X-boxes to see what was the matter.
Away to the window they flew like Angry Birds in a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash
The moon on a patch of grass that had never seen snow
Gave the luster of Diamond Dash to objects below,
When, what to the children’s wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
They knew in a moment it was St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles and emails they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now, Twitter! now, Bubble Island! now, Hashtag and Facebook!
On, Farmville! on, Farkle! on, Dragon City and Game Hook!
To the top the CastleVillet! to the top of Odd Fellows Hall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
And up to South Mountain top, the entourage flew,
With a sleigh full of high-tech gadgets, and their chargers too.
And then, in a twinkling, one child Amber heard on her roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As she drew in her head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Santa came with a bound.
He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of electronics he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes--how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
Even Pet Rescue Saga came along, wearing a bow,
Twerking next to Santa through the snow;
Santa spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Plugged in all the devices then turned with a jerk,
As all the lights went out and something tickled his nose,
And giving a quick nod, up the chimney he rose;
Santa sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they flew like the down of a thistle.
But Amber heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“The iPads are fried but the iPhones should be all right!”