Ojai Road Home Gets Flocked

As feared last week, escaped flamingos have made their way to Santa Paula, invadi-ng the lawn of at least one unsuspecting resident. The first yard in which the flock landed was along Ojai Road. The unidentified homeowner was astonished when he woke Sunday to a sea of pink on his lawn. “I’d never seen anything like it before in my life,” he said. Luckily, he knew to call RUFF (Remove Unwanted Flamingos Fast) to get rid of the plastic-looking animals. Unfortunately, more flamingos are believed on the loose. And while all known appearances so far have been on the city’s eastside, it is expected they will soon turn their attention to other parts of town as well. Some residents have become suspicious of the exact origins of the spindly-legged birds. Specifically, they have begun to point out that RUFF is a subcommittee of the Santa Paula Association of Skaters. It is known that the skaters have embarked on an ambitious fund-raising odyssey. They must raise $180,000 to cement their dream of a public skatepark in Santa Paula. A $10,000 grant from the Tony Hawk Foundation has already been received. When asked about the connection, SPAS President Marisue Eastlake said she was too busy writing grant proposals for the skatepark to follow all of RUFF’s activities, but she would check into it. In the meantime, if those pesky birds alight in your yard, you can reach RUFF at (805) 525-0828.